Mother’s Day is this Sunday and women everywhere are celebrated for all the magnificent love, sacrifice, and care that they give to their beloved families. While many moms are loving, giving, nurturing and supportive, sometimes they can be overly critical, unsupportive, checked out, preoccupied or even competitive with us. Most of our moms truly love us and want the very best for us, but being only human, they may have unknowingly created some damage to our self esteem along the way.
Perhaps you’ve come to a place of compassion, understanding that given your mom’s own upbringing and her own limitations, she truly loved you and did the best she could. And hopefully, you forgive her for what she didn't or couldn't do, or maybe did too much of. But now what? What do you with any scars or insecurities left over from your childhood? Forgiveness and understanding doesn’t always clear away the end result. You’re often left self critical, insecure and not able to shine as you’re truly meant to shine. You walk around so much less than you could be, weighed down by your old beliefs and insecurities ( most that were never even true) and no longer serve you.
I work with my clients everyday, in many different ways, to help them heal their inner child.
Here is the antidote: Be your own best mother. Even if you had a great mother, still, become your own best mother. We can have damaged self esteem from our fathers or siblings, our peers or any number of factors. Developing this unconditional mothering of yourself is the key to healing. Learn to develop that inner loving voice that supports you and nourishes you, and it will eventually heal you and allow you to be in your power and the best version of yourself. Here are just a few ways to start the healing and to begin reprogramming yourself to the road of self acceptance and self love.
1. Throughout the day continually praise yourself for little and big things. Say, to yourself, as if to a child, (out loud or looking into a mirror, if possible), “ Wow! You did a great job being patient. “ or “ You’re so funny, I love the way you think”, or “This lipstick looks amazing on you- you’re so radiant and beautiful”, “ You were so caring today, You’re a really great friend”, or “ Wow, even though you weren’t in the mood , you went to the gym and got a workout - I’m proud of you!” Just start complimenting and acknowledging yourself throughout the day. Make yourself do this no matter how goofy it feels. And not just once a day. We’re talking once an hour!
2. Rub your face lovingly during the day and say, “I love you.” Again, might feel awkward or silly but push through it. It can be powerful and healing. Before bed and when you wake up , rub your face and say loving things to yourself. All the things you wanted and needed to hear.
3. Do those things you always wanted to do as a child but never had the chance. If you wanted to horse back ride but your family couldn’t afford it, go get on a horse. Maybe you wanted to paint or learn to play an instrument. If you loved dancing, but stopped when you got older- find a dance class or just take dance breaks to your favorite songs at home. When you do these activities, let your inner child know you are doing it for and with them.
Acknowledging that you have a child inside that needs unconditional love and praise is the first step. Giving it to her or him is the second. Give these simple methods a try and see how it feels and let me know how it goes for you.
If you want to go within and work more deeply with your inner child, I have created a process called Inner Child Guided Healings. My clients often have amazing transformations, and deep healings from this work..It is really quite profound. If you want to learn more about it, there’s more info here on my website or just drop me a note and we can arrange a quick call.
Wishing a very Happy Mothers Day to all the Mothers in your life…and especially to the Mother inside of you.